Hashtag Mom Life

Before I became a mother I heard whispers and myths of "mommy wars" and "sanctimommies", stories I would always write off believing that moms don't actually have enough time or energy to judge one another on their parenting choices. Well surprise! Maybe I was wrong. It seems at every turn there is another mother professing how her methods are the best and only true methods, leaving me feeling inadequate and less than. How could I possibly have a pinterest perfect home, rock hard abs, and organically breastfed baby when most of the time I am really just trying to keep it together for long enough to pick up my groceries that I ordered online because shopping in the store is literally too much effort.  But as I sit here writing this while my 3 month old sucks on a toy across the room, I realize that the only person who can make me feel inadequate is me. So what if I barely survived my pregnancy, begged for an epidural, had an emergency c-section, wasn't able to breastfeed my baby, let him watch TV while I take a shower, and don't teach him baby sign language? So what if you do? It does not make you or I any less or more of a mother. It does not mean that I don't try hard enough or believe in myself enough, and it doesn't mean that someone who can do all of those things is better than me. I am my own worst enemy here. I am the one who sees someone else's perfect instagram photos and judges myself for not being as good as that person. So really are "mommy wars" an actual thing or are they something that we create within ourselves? As women, we are so quick to see another's accomplishments as our own failures but these are lies that we tell ourselves. We have the power to be accepting and even admiring of the choices that others make without discounting our own choices and abilities. I am proud of the decisions I make each day in raising my boy. Most of the time I am making it all up as I go, but I am glad that I can do that. I am so glad that my worth is not based upon how many dishes are in my sink or how beautiful I think that labor is not. Discovering my worth in the eyes of my son who loves me unconditionally has helped me to realize it myself. I am his mother, and that makes me good enough.